Mary Smith
Classification Essay

Birth Order – The Perfectionist, The Tornado, and The Princess

Before I had children, I did not believe that birth order could affect the personality of a person. But now I have three beautiful yet very different daughters. So different that not only is it sometimes hard to believe they come from the same two parents, it’s sometimes hard to believe they come from the same species! I have come up with three categories to describe the peculiarities of birth order, the Perfectionist, the Tornado, and the Princess, at least as they pertain to my daughters.

The Perfectionist is the oldest child. Miss Perfection has been the center of attention since the moment of conception. The parents just know that this child would be the smartest, most compassionate, most beautiful child ever born on the face of the earth. The parents then pour all their energies into making sure this is true. The child then decides that this is what life is like. The oldest child believes that their hair has to always be perfect with a hair bow that is the exact shade of their carefully chosen ensemble. Their schoolwork reflects this also. They will be at the top of their class in everything from reading to hopscotch. They will also be involved in everything imaginable – drama, girl scouts, cheerleading, youth group, yearbook, honor societies, and the list goes on and on. These are the children you find in gifted classes and are bored if they don’t get challenging enough homework. On top of everything else, things have to be perfect the first time. In my oldest daughter, Megan’s mind, a rough draft of a paper means that the handwriting is messy. These children are also natural born leaders. Bossing their siblings around just comes naturally. This can benefit them when they become CEO’s, politicians, or dictators.

The middle child is the Tornado. The middle child will gladly expound on why life is not fair. They will do this in a loud and very emotional way. No matter their age, they think they should be able to do everything their older and younger siblings do. And if they can’t, “It’s not fair!” is followed by an endless tirade about how they are not loved and how they are going to run away and find people who have no children so they can be an only child. Ten minutes later this same madman will be asking you to listen to a song they wrote about how much they love their siblings or calling you to come see the cute new thing their younger sibling is doing. This child can be very compassionate and loving but life is so unfair to them that they forget to show it sometimes. This child constantly hears “Can’t you be more like your older sister?” This only enflames the child to do even bigger and better things than their older sibling. This makes all of life a competition for this child. They are constantly trying for better grades, bigger trophies, faster times, and higher jumps. If they don’t better their sibling they go into deep depression. If they can do better than their sibling, they strut around and brag for weeks. And they never let their older sibling forget. Life with the Tornado is never boring! In fact, if you ever hear that Hurricane Maddie is heading for Texas, EVACUATE!!! It won’t be a hurricane but my middle daughter in a major meltdown!

Then there’s the baby, the Princess. The youngest believes that life revolves around them. When they are very young they have no motivation to learn to do anything on their own, including crawling, walking or talking. Their older siblings cater to their every need. As the Princess gets older she expects this behavior to continue much to the annoyance of their older siblings and the older siblings can’t figure out how that sweet little baby became such a spoiled brat. Of course, the parents don’t help the situation. This is the “baby” of the family and everybody needs to watch out for them. Maybe this is why our three year old has taken to wearing a crown around the house and demanding to be referred to as “Princess Katie.”

Birth order, I thought it was study done to waste taxpayer’s money, but it does exist. If you still don’t believe it just visit my home for a while. Just don’t forget to bow to the Princess!