Avoid passive voice:

Passive: Based on several reoccurring themes, symbols, and characters the comparison between the narrator and Carver himself can be drawn.

Revised: The reader can compare the narrator and Carver by looking at reoccuring themes, symbols, and characters.

Passive: Raymond Carver wrote these three short stories with so much realism and a common structure and theme among the three of them that is easily detected during the process of reading and analyzing.

Revised: The reader can easily detect the realism and common structure and theme among the three short stories.

Avoid wordiness:

Wordy: One of the forms of concrete words Carver uses are metaphors which typically form symbolic truths in a piece of literature. While normal dialogue can be understood with standard conversational language, Carver makes reference to minor things in the story. These metaphoric objects pertain to the predicaments a reader can make about the outcome of a discussion. Carver uses a variety of metaphors in his works giving a reader the thoughts necessary in determining the intent of the metaphor and its symbolic meaning.

Revised: Carver uses metaphors and conversational language.

Avoid Faulty Predication:

FP: Carver's trademark style reveals the everyday problems of modern men and women.

Revised: Carver's stories reveal the everyday problems of modern men and women.

Avoid short, choppy sentences; show relationship between ideas or use transitions:

Choppy: A couple named Jack and Fran were asked over to a co-worker of Jack's for dinner. The couple that was hosting dinner for Jack and Fran were named Bud and Olla. This couple was so much in loved and it showed. They had a baby that was not the cutest in kids.

Revised: Invited to dinner, Jack and Fran found their hosts, Bud and Olla in love and happy as parents.